Merlin (2008)

Drama / Rodinný / Fantasy
Velká Británie, 2008
ČSFD 72 %, IMDB 8,0/10

   I decided to write this review in English, just to give it a try. Actually, I even considered switching into English completely but I know myself well enough to be sure that I am way too lazy for that.
   Hercules. Xena. And now - Merlin. These three are based on some kind of mythology and don't give a heck about following it. Actually, when you watch Merlin you feel like someone met this pretty nice guy called Arthurian Mythology who pissed him off so he found a group of hooligans, gave them metal bats and told them that the poor thing said their mothers were bunch of fat bitches. So they brought it on and beat him beyond recognition.
   The result is still fun to watch, there is no discussion about that (although some episodes are rather poor) but it might be better if the characters had different names and there would be no connection with Arthur. It would be more or less the same thing. The first thing is - do not expect Merlin to be an old wise grandpa, Arthur to be a strong wise king, Mogana to be a powerful wise sorceress and Guinevere to be a beautiful wise (OK, no one would expect her to be wise, she is supposed to be pretty and shag Lancelot...but still). They all are pretty dumb, especially Arthur. Seriously, his cerebral activity obviously stays on zero level for whole episodes. Oh, yeah, and they are all like 20 year old.

   The story line is really simple. Uther is the King of Camelot and he banned magic completely. To be sure that no one dares use it, sorcery is punishable by death. Merlin is a weirdo with natural talent for magic (btw, he looks like Spock's little brother) and his mother has no better idea than to send him right to Camelot to her friend physician. The fact that Camelot is the very centre of executions of people with magical powers and is being ruled by a psychopathic murderer doesn't seem to bother her. Arthur is a spoiled, egoistic, selfish brat but it is, of course, to be changed (by Merlin). Gaius is the physician Merlin is sent to and (what a surprise) he knows how to use magic so he becomes Merlin's tutor. And finally - deep under the castle, in the mysterious maze of underground passages is imprisoned the last living dragon - The Great Dragon (aka Sparky, the Dragon of Slash). The security of this place is truly amazing. There is not even a lock on the door to the dungeons. And considering no one is supposed to even know about it, the place is pretty crowded. I expect a souvenir shop to appear there any minute. They could sell T-shirt "I came here to chat with Sparky and fulfil my destiny and all I got is this lousy T-shirt". Because it's basically all that Sparky ever says. If you took all the "Fulfil your destiny" and "Follow your destiny" or simply "Destiny, Merlin, destiny" lines he wouldn't probably say anything at all.

   Morgana has some prophetic dreams but for the whole first season she is in denial of having any powers (although she believes that her dreams will come true so she really should stop and try to think about the way her logic works...). I am really looking forward to her getting to the anger stage, it should be fun. She also has suspiciously close relationship with Guinevere. And Guinevere...oh, dear. What have they done to you? She is a servant. She wears really bright dress, though. She is absolutely unimportant for the story. Yeah, and she's black.
   I mean...seriously, this show is just full of black people who totally shouldn't be there. It's ridiculous. I understand that some stupid rule requires a certain number of black and yellow and pink and whateva people but seriously...one episode takes place in a small village where about 30 people live. And all the time you think...hey, yet another black guy. And a girl! Oh, probably his wife, 'cause mixed marriages were so normal in those times...
   As I said, some plots are even dumber that the characters. I loved the one where Merlin gets poisoned. Luckily, the evil witch used a poison which will kill you in five days (although she used magic to lower the time but it has absolutely no impact on the story so I don't understand why they bothered to put it in the story). And (of course) there is only one, mighty rare plant that can be used as antidote. It grows in a cave (there is surely sop much light so it can blossom splendidly) which is in such a convenient distance from Camelot that it takes Arthur exactly the right amount of time to get there and back and save Merlin in the very last seconds before he dies. And, yeah, Arthur...before you leave for your epic two-and-a-half-day long journey, you might want to know that the cave is guarded by an superubermegapowerful monster and a bunch of poisonous spiders. So...CU and save the other main character 'cause otherwise we will be screwed (like that's likely to happen, huh).

    The second season looks pretty the same, at least at the beginning. Arthur is still arrogant, although much less than before. Morgana still screams in her bed and seems to be incapable to do anything about what she sees in her dreams but it looks like she's gonna actually start doing something with her powers so...that could be fine. Merlin still runs around saving Arthur secretly, polishing his stuff and getting hit by rotten vegetable. And Guinevere hardly appears on the screen and if she actually does appear, she is still absolutely unimportant for the story (although she had a dinner with Arthur in the last episode so it look like some old good forbidden love is on the horizon).And Sparky keeps yelling cheesy stuff about destiny and Merlin having to guide Arthur and stay by his side (which he does gladly) and so on.
   It probably seems that I don't like the show but when the story isn't predictable from the very beginning it is really fun to watch. Arthur is kinda an eye candy and it seems that he will be shirtless much more often in the second season (but still he doesn't beat the best Arthur ever - Clive Owens. It's a completely different league...). And Merlin is probably gay (according to the myth, he should fall in love with Nimueh...but he grilled her with a lightening at the end of the first season and I'd rather watch a gay Merlin than a necrophiliac one). His main goal is to protect and change Arthur. Yeah, I know... He gets terribly depressed when Arthur doesn't like him or doesn't believe what he is saying (which takes place during the first 15-20 minutes of every episode). He is really sad because he wants Arthur to know what he is really like (you know...inside). And in one point, he asks Guinevere if she'd prefer Lancelot or Arthur...and that settles it.

   So try it, enjoy and write some juicy slash short story because this is no True Blood and kids watch this show so the shirtless Arthur is the most we get (but I'd really like to know what Merlin and Lancelot were doing in that room whole night). And I mustn't forget...try this. These are funny reviews of the episodes, they are really hilarious even if you didn't see the show.